… of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Janet, Brad, and the professor just barely escape the spaceship-castle before it lifts off and disappears into the night sky. Janet, Brad, and the professor are seen crawling around in circles of hazy smoke, confused and slightly devastated following the events that preceded their escape.
And for the first time, my story does not match up to the movie.
So let me explain…
On Friday, last week, I have severed my D/s relationship with Rocky.
I hear a lot of questions, so let me try to explain as best as I can without being too vague. Bare with me, please? I respect Rocky too much to go into full detail, and I would like to keep the magic of what I had with him in tact, even if it’s just for myself.
Rocky has been one of those experiences that I will reminisce about in my old days, and maybe I can enthral some of my grandchildren with stories of the heart-affecting, life changing journeys that their crazy Nona had during her lifetime. Maybe they will even understand the moral of the story. Rocky will definitely have a place in The Adventures Of Liv2C!
I have not shared every feeling, doubt, niggle, fear, elation, happiness or giddiness with you, my readers. Whenever questions arose, I simply asked Rocky directly and I trusted him to give me an honest answer. Which he mostly did. But, similar to how I am always in self-preservation mode for distrusting people, so too was Rocky in his own unique form of self-preservation.
On Friday, my questions were getting a bit hot, and finally, we discovered there was a rather large misunderstanding between the two of us. Large enough that I decided to walk away. There was no fighting, no screaming, no begging or pleading. Nope, I just said that I want quits, and, not unexpectedly, he conceded to my wishes.
So, now it’s Tuesday. I would like to explore the repercussions of what happened on Friday and how it’s been going since.
Do I regret calling it off?
No, I don’t. I know without a doubt that I did the right thing.
What are my feelings towards Rocky now?
Very much unchanged, actually. He is a really great man. I enjoyed my time with him and have no reason to think that he is very different than what I perceived. During our D/s relationship, I got glimpses into the real man, and he’s pretty cool. I like Rocky a lot, for the man who is the Dom and the Dom who is the man. Sometimes he needed to Dom me, just for the sake of having control and I allowed it because I understood. Other times he brought the natural Dom to me, the man, his identity, and those were the moments I learned most from him. Even though I will have none of this again, I appreciate the little I was privy to. So, my feelings toward him will remain mostly unchanged. Like I said, soooooo many time already, he’s an amazing sort of man.
What do I miss most?
The abrupt end to our relationship has also stopped all communications with immediate effect. We used to chat from the early morning all the way to bed at night, so I miss talking to him.
I also miss having someone I could be myself around with.
I miss submitting to him.
I miss teasing him on a Monday.
I miss how easy it was for me to make him laugh.
I miss the challenge, the learning.
Speaking of challenges, I suspect I was a challenge for him too. He may have underestimated me when he first pursued this relationship. I do not know what he thought he was going to get from me, but I’m willing to bet big that he didn’t quite expect to deal with the likes of me. I know of a number of times where I surprised him and may even have exceeded his expectations of who I am.
What do I wish for him?
I would like to see that he lives a life that can make him truly happy. He is currently living on a knife’s edge and I can’t imagine that any person can hold out like that for the unforeseeable future. I believe he deserves better than what he has now, so too do the people around him. Live in the light! Fear nothing! Be you!
I wish that he will one day find a woman who he would fight for, work hard for, and put in all the effort necessary to nurture a relationship that is worthy of him. Someone he will walk with in pleasure and pain and never fail.
I wish that we can continue to be friends, I might have to send someone to him to train in the ways of a Dom. 😊
What now for me?
Well, I am ticking boxes. I have a to-do list and a bucket list. I have begun to execute these things in an effort to live life more abundantly.
I am making some rather huge decisions right now, I want adventure!
As it is, there is one big issue that arose from walking away from Rocky; my blog.
Now that I have no D/s relationship to write about, I am not sure what I should do here. I was thinking of writing about other things, but this specific blog is anonymous and I have no other topics I want to be anonymous about. I have no community or other prospects of picking up another Dom, so that leaves my blog without meat. This is something I will work on…
In the end, instead of escaping for my life from the spaceship-castle, I simply stepped off and sent an air kiss of goodbye. I will treasure these memories always and I will always be thankful to Rocky for taking me on this journey. I wish I could have had the understanding and patience it requires to remain in our relationship, I wish I could have Rocky one more time, but we both know that this is as far as I can go without having any regrets. And if there is one thing I am passionate about, it is to learn, grow and experience, but never regret anything I do.