Thinking

Friday was a terrible day for me. The week’s pressures collided into a devastating end. Yet, along with all the energy-sapping things I have had to endure, I also had to stay true to my own happiness, even if it broke me. I cried a lot on Friday. I cried mostly for myself. My pursuit…

It broke…

Stuff got in the way. So it broke. After Rocky took me up on the letter I wrote to him, I discovered that he is running under a lot more pressure than I knew. This is also why I had to make sure that he was certain about picking up our D/s relationship again. I…

Bah humbug.

I have been debating with myself. Throwing both sides of the argument around to decide what to do. There are things I need to write about, or say. Or something. As it stands right now, there is absolutely no one I talk to about my relationship with Rocky. He has asked me to write so…

Debrief

I really do not feel like writing today’s entry… But I think that it would be unfair not to, so I am going to get as clinical about this as I can manage. (Which is probably not possible, seeing as the topic is my night with my Dom and there is nothing clinical about that.)…

1 more night

The immense need to submit flows in deep rivulets through me. Something about Rocky coming tomorrow has my reflecting on our relationship in a more intense way. I don’t remember being so paralysed with longing when he came for his previous visit. I do recall fantasising and dreaming and hoping, but there is a marked…

2…

It’s starting to feel more like a dream. Where does reality meet up with fantasy? Is there a definitive divide? Is it possible to recognise the point when reality and fantasy combine and offers a unique out of body experience? I feel decidedly cranky this morning… Excuse me while I go and give myself an…

3…

Today’s topic is a special request from my Dom. On second thought, it wasn’t a request. But ‘special’ still stands, since he has only ever dictated my blog on a few occasions. Last Saturday, in an attempt to distract me, Rocky asked me how one of my explorative tasks was going that he gave me…

4 Days

I flow like a river. In some places I am calm and in others it gets rough. But right now I am focusing on the area where the constant rush is flowing a little too close to the shore and I can feel the scrape of the rocks in the most delicious way. It doesn’t…

5 days to go

I am trying really hard not to put myself through a serious beautifying regime right now. I find that I am quite funny, and I mean in a haha way. I want to primp and prep as soon as I can! And the fact that I recognise the ridiculousness of it makes me laugh at…

6 days and counting!

Time to prepare for the arrival of my Dom. For those who don’t know yet, Rocky and I have long distance relationship. It is really frustrating for me, as there are many occasions where I wish I could have access to him on a whim. And considering the ease at which he gets me all…